In The Dark
by Degrazzi
Summary: When Clare agreed to go to Vegas Night as Fitz's date, she never thought he would take things as far as he did. Left with emotional trauma that would haunt her for the rest of her life, Clare learns what it really is to heal, to fear, to love, to forgive and to move on. Rated M, Eclare, non-con, angst, may trigger.


**I will keep this short. Eclare story, rated M for graphic non-con, abuse and other themes. Definitely may trigger. You've been warned. Not a one-shot.**

As she applied a subtle red lipstick and popped her lips out, watching herself nervously in the reflection of her bedroom mirror, Clare Edwards started to seriously question her sanity. Was her dress too short? It fell just above her knees, but didn't hug to her skin very tightly. She pulled it down and hoped that any dancing that took place wouldn't disturb the length much.

Was the red color too suggestive for her lip-color? She didn't want to give _him_ the wrong impression of her intentions. She didn't want him to think that she was trying hard to impress him. She was not. She also didn't want him to think she was being provocative. She was _definitely _not. The color red seemed appropriate for the theme of 'Vegas Night', but was it appropriate to wear as a lipstick when one's escort was the type of man to evaluate simple gestures as suggestive ones? Clare didn't know.

The only thing that Clare really knew was that she wasn't excited to attend the dance. She didn't want to go anywhere with Fitz. She didn't want to dance with him. She didn't want people to see her with him. She didn't want to play the part of arm candy while Fitz made jokes with his druggy friends and tried to cop a feel. She didn't want anything to do with him, but she knew she had no choice.

After watching her two best friends fight with Mark Fitzgerald for months, she grew tired of the conflict and took matters into her own hands. She wanted peace at school, and was tired of listening to the boys plot revenge during every waking hour. School was supposed to be an escape from the constant bickering of her parents, yet it was almost as stressful when she watched her friends get nearly knocked out by Fitz and his goons on a daily basis.

Regretfully, she approached the delinquent and asked for some kind of compromise. A peace treaty, if you will. One thing led to another, and somehow she was preparing to attend a school-sanctioned dance with said bully. Life is funny sometimes.

She wondered if her attitude toward the entire thing was unfair. Fitz was nice enough to her, but she just couldn't push out the feelings of irritation and dread from her belly. Yes, Fitz was terrible to Adam and Eli, but he'd never crossed any lines with Clare personally, and he seemed to be fond of her to an extent. She shouldn't feel so much negativity toward him, right?

She heard the doorbell ring and let out a final sigh before making the trip downstairs to greet her date and face the night,

As she opened the door and tried (but miserably failed) to put on a happy face, she wondered why Eli and Adam couldn't just be the bigger men and ignore Fitz and his ignorant ways.

The thought almost made her chuckle, but she held it back because Fitz was standing in front of her and she didn't want him to believe that she was laughing at his expense. There was no way in Hell that Adam and Eli would turn the other cheek to Fitz's homophobic and violent ways. Clare found it foolish of them, but her opinions obviously didn't matter to them. If they did, perhaps she'd be attending the dance with one of them, and Fitz would find some kind of trouble-making girl to take with him. Everything would be fine that way.

"Hello." She said in a squeaky voice, and she noticed the corner of his mouth rise with her nervousness.

He reached out wordlessly and grabbed her hand. She resisted the urge to pull it back and go into defensive mode, but she noticed the corsage that he was slipping onto her wrist, and decided to let it slide.

"F-f-for you." He said, and she almost smiled at the gesture. "My mom made me bring it."

She wasn't surprised by the statement or the bluntness in which he told her, but she didn't honestly mind.

_This is just how Fitz is, _she thought. _Smile, and get through the night._

He escorted her to a junky four-door and jumped in the front seat. Clare nearly scoffed at the fact that he didn't bother opening her door, but reminded herself that he wasn't Eli. He wasn't as charming, as gentlemanly, and he probably didn't care about her the way that she hoped Eli did. She made her way over to the passenger's side and let herself in.

After plopping down on the ripped seat and struggling to free her seatbelt from its constraints, Clare sat back and tried to calm her racing heart. She hadn't taken into account the fact that they would be alone together. She didn't know what to say to him. Should she ask about his life? No, that would make him think she was too interested. Or, it would annoy him and he would find her nosy. She fiddled with her dress and stared out the window.

"You look really ho-er, nice tonight." Fitz told her in a nauseatingly suave voice.

She rolled her eyes and nodded before saying briefly, "Thank you." She would have been more charmed by the compliment if she hadn't heard the beginning of the comment. Clare didn't find the word 'hot' to be flattering. In fact, she found it demeaning.

_One more thing on the list of reasons why I don't like Fitz._

Luckily for Clare, the ride to the school was short, and she didn't have to endure anymore attempts at conversation by the older boy. When he pulled into a spot in the school parking lot, Clare wasted no time in jumping out and heading for the building.

"Wait up!" Fitz called, and Clare slowed her pace and turned around to wait for him. He jogged over to her and she noted that he looked nice. His clothes looked iron, they matched and his hair appeared to be style with a subtle amount of gel. She almost wanted to thank him for putting in some actual effort, but she knew that would be inappropriate and probably insulting to him. Implying that she found him incapable to choosing an outfit on most days would be detrimental to the peace treaty that she'd been so desperate to establish.

"Is emo-boy gonna be here?" He asked, and Clare nodded in response. Eli hadn't planned on attending the event until he heard that Clare agreed to go with Fitz. He was going to keep an eye on them, and Clare had a sense of appreciation for that. She didn't think she needed anybody to keep an eye on her, but she respected his chivalry.

"He'd better not start anything." Fitz grumbled, and Clare had to bite her tongue, once again, in order to not piss him off.

"He won't." She replied and sped up a bit to put some space between herself and her date.

They entered the building (after Fitz neglected to hold the door open for her) and Clare observed the guests that were smiling excitedly all about the gymnasium. She imagined that her face would be wearing an equally-thrilled smile if she was attending with somebody whom she was fond of. She looked at Fitz and frowned a bit.

She made her way over to the snack table and poured herself a glass of punch, praying that nobody spiked it yet, because being inebriated was the last thing she wanted while on a pseudo-date with one of her enemies.

"Clare."

She looked up and greeted the owner of the voice with a smile. It was the first honest smile that she'd offered up all night.

"Hey, Eli."

She realized that her voice sounded flirty, and she vowed to tone it down until the night was over. She didn't want Fitz to think that she intended to neglect him for Eli. That was another thing that might hurt the peace.

"How is fraternizing with the enemy?" He asked in a bitter tone, and Clare felt guilt rise up in her belly.

"I'm doing this for you. Don't make me feel bad." She spat back at him. The amount of venom in her voice surprised her, but she knew it was necessary.

"I can take care of myself." He growled, and she flinched a bit.

"That's working so well for you."

"There are other ways, Clare. You should have let me handle it." Eli gripped tighter to his glass of punch and Clare worried that it would break in his hand.

"_This_ will end the feud. Why can't you just accept that? Fitz agreed to leave us all alone if I went with him, Eli. It is one night. After this, we can go to school in peace and I won't have to worry that my friends are going to be bloodied and bruised. Everybody wins." She stated with finality, but Eli didn't know how to let it be.

"Adam and I are men. We can take it." Eli said in a condescending voice. Clare felt herself losing her cool completely.

"Get over yourself, Eli. I'm_ so_ sorry that my compromise hurts your male ego, but I'm doing this for me, too. This isn't just about you or Adam… School is the _only_ place that I can go and not listen to fighting and bickering. It's the only place that I can find peace and quiet in my life. I-I really need that back." She took a deep breath and tried to fight back the tears that were forming in her eyes from anger. "If that means dancing with Fitz and letting him show me off to his friends, so be it."

She turned on her heels, drink in hand, and walked away from him. She hoped that her words made some kind of impact, but she somehow doubted it. Eli was so stubborn sometimes.

After a few awkward slow dances with Fitz and some long trips to the bathroom to catch her breath, the event was over and everybody was filing out. Surprisingly, she didn't have the worst time in the world and Fitz seemed to get more tolerable as the night went on. She avoided Eli after the punch bowl confrontation, but was able to chat with Alli for a while Fitz talked to his friends. The two girls danced for a bit and it was the highlight of Clare's evening. It wasn't the worst experience of her life, and it was definitely worth the peace that was to come as a result.

As they exited the school building, Fitz escorted Clare to his car and opened up her door for her. She was pleasantly surprised by the gesture and offered him up a sincere smile and a grateful "thank you, Fitz". Relief settled in her heart when she realized what was happening. Fitz was finally going to leave them alone. She was going to regain her sanctuary, Eli and Adam would be safe, and maybe Eli would finally ask her out (like she'd been hoping he would do for weeks). Everything in her life would start to fall into place. Attending the dance with Fitz might be the best decision she's made in a long time, she thought as she stared out the window and waited for the older boy to take her home.

After an extended silence, she looked over at Fitz with curiosity and said, in a joking voice, "Waiting for something."

He grinned at her and nodded. In a swift motion, he pulled a knife out from underneath his seat, and Clare froze in place. Her entire body stiffened up as she stared at the weapon.

"Get in the back seat, Clare." Fitz said lowly.

She couldn't move her legs, let alone her entire body, to the back seat of his car. She knew she was shaking, but her body was numb and her mind was dissociating.

"Fucking get in the back seat before I make you, Clare."

She flinched and shakily obeyed his command. Bile rose in her throat and she knew that tears were cascading down her face, but she couldn't feel them. The fear was so intense that it took over, and she didn't even realize that Fitz was joining her in the back seat until she felt the cold blade on her neck.

"Do everything I say and I won't kill you."

The word 'kill' resonated through her mind and a choked sob echoed throughout the car. She looked outside of the window and noticed that the parking lot was completely empty.

"Take off your dress."

In that moment, she knew what was going to happen to her. She shook her head and sobbed, but obeyed his command and lifted her dress off of her body. She was trembling, and the car felt like it was the coldest place she'd ever been. Her heart was thumping so hard and loud in her chest that she was sure he could hear it. It was aching in her ears and she wondered if a person could die from fear.

"Lay down." He said, and she noticed through his dress pants that he was aroused. She was innocent, but not naïve enough to not recognize a boner when it was staring her in the face. She obeyed the command and tried to go to a happier place. She couldn't bear the thought of what was happening. She didn't want to acknowledge that Fitz was the first man to ever see her naked. She didn't want to admit to herself that he was probably going to be her first for a lot of things. Unwillingly on her end, of course, but still the first.

Her mind went somewhere else. She thought of herself as a little girl, aged 8. They took a trip to Canada's Wonderland during the summer before Clare's grade 3. She could recall how excited she and Darcy were to go on every ride, and how exhilarating every roller coaster ride was. She felt like she was flying, like she could jump out and fly away like a bird. She'd put her hands up in the air and scream, and Darcy would giggle next to her and they would laugh and yell at every hill. They rode the coasters over and over, and somehow the experience never got old. It was one of the few memories she had left of Darcy, really.

She thought about how much her sister changed over the years, and what led to the older Edward's inevitable departure from home. Clare found it ironic where her thoughts took her in those moments. She thought it was strange that she would think of Darcy during such an event.

She suddenly began to understand why her sister moved to Africa.

She was thrown back into reality when she felt the painful splitting of her core. This was it. Fitz was raping her and there was nothing she could do about it. There was no narrow escape for her, no happy ending, and no waking up from the nightmare. She let out another tortured cry and the boy above her grunted. His eyes were closed, like he was overcome with pleasure, and Clare literally wanted to die. With each thrust, Clare let out another scream and fought against him, but he held her hands tightly with one of his own, and guided himself in and out of her tightness. Blood coated the seat of his car, but he was too satisfied to care.

He pushed himself into her deeper, nearing his release as the pain literally took her breath away. The stab of agony that would rip through her every moment that he invaded her was stronger than any other sensation she'd ever felt in her life. Her sobs mixed with her desperate attempts at strangled breathing as he finished inside of her.

"Fuck… oh, fuck."

He collapsed on top of her, letting go of her hands and Clare turned her head away from him to vomit on the floor of his backseat. Fitz jumped up in disgust and opened the door quickly to push Clare outside.

"You puked in my car, you fucking bitch!"

Clare screamed at the pain between her legs that came with moving, and she felt the nauseating combination of semen and blood dripping onto the pavement. She fell to her knees when Fitz threw her from the car and found that breathing wasn't any easier. Everything in her life had changed, and all she could do was vomit and cry and hope that the pain would someday lessen.

When the glorious sound of sirens filled her ears, her faith in God was partially restored. In her dissociated state, she heard, "Shit" and the revving of Fitz's car engine. He threw her dress from the car as he sped away from the sirens, and it landed on the ground next to her. The white and black dress seemed too clean for her to wear. She felt filthy and tainted, and the color white just mocked her lost innocence.

The modest part of her wanted to cover up her nudity, but the pain that filled her was so all-consuming that she remained on the pavement, on her knees, frozen in place. She saw that her naked thighs were almost completely stained pink from her blood, and another round of vomit made its way out of her mouth. She wondered how many times she would have to vomit before the nausea when away. She wondered how many times she would have to cry before the tears dried up and let her be.

The first car to pull up was a squad car. A female officer ran over to her and kneeled by her. Clare wanted to warn her of the vomit, but she couldn't even find the words. Another officer followed with a blanket, and draped it over her naked shoulders. An ambulance pulled up, and Clare tried to ignore the headache that crying and the sirens gave her.

The officials all spoke to her, but she said nothing in reply. In truth, she couldn't really hear their words. Everything was so blurry and her body hurt so badly. Clare didn't know what was happening, but somehow she was in an ambulance, and somehow they knew her name. She heard a scream, and she knew it was her own, but she couldn't feel it leaving her body. She couldn't feel it in her lungs. She wondered if that was what shock was.

She couldn't breathe, and an oxygen mask was placed on her face. A needle was in her arm, and her fear of needles just seemed ridiculous then. Why fear something so harmless when the world is filled with much greater evils? She didn't think she would ever fear objects again. Just people. Just people like Fitz.

She knew the needle contained some kind of sedative, because she felt every muscle in her body go slack. She didn't mind it, though. Everything in her hurt so much, and she just wanted to forget. She just wanted to sleep.

So she did.

_**I'm terrible. I can't believe I just tortured Clare. I actually really love Fitz, and I know he wouldn't really rape Clare, but the plot bunnies really took over me. This is chapter one. Neighbor Man will get the next update, then IDKIWP, then this again. **_

_**Keep in mind that this is an Eclare story, so Eli will have a large role in this.**_

_**I hope you liked the first chapter. Review if you'd like more. If I get no feedback, I won't update.**_


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